Random Bits And Pieces Of Everyday Insanity

• I miss being near a library that contains the books I actually need. I've been buying more books lately. While building my professional library is a good thing, I really don't need to be spending the money on it right now. I seek out the cheapest copies I can find, but it adds up.
• My niece has a habit of trying to appropriate my technology whenever I see her. While my laptop and cellphone are both popular, she goes for my camera whenever she can. One of her parents or a set of grandparents needs to get this girl a camera of her own. She'll be 12 in November. I think she can handle the responsibility of owning an inexpensive camera.
• She doesn't just take silly kid pictures. I once "caught" her arranging a bowl of fruit for a photo.
• My sister had to attend middle school orientation yesterday evening. I think this is hilarious.
• My dissertation haunts me. No, it isn't quite that. It's my anxiety about my writing that is in overdrive right now. I can analyze all of the reasons for my anxiety. I tell myself what I should do/how I should be. The problem is implementation. Follow through. I can't get myself to buy into the solution.
• What? Someone who studies writing has writing anxiety? I openly admit that I took my first composition theory course to diagnose myself. Obviously, I realized that my interest in studying and teaching writing was more than a simply solipsistic affair. But, while I can diagnose a lot of my issues, I haven't necessarily moved past all of them. That ADD/perfectionism connection will probably always be there. Additionally, I don't always trust/believe compliments about my writing. Silly, I know, but there it is. Once, in high school, I took a recently handed back paper to my teacher and tried to explain why it didn't deserve the "A" it received. Yeah. I don't quite go to that extreme anymore, but I'm always thinking that I could/should do better.
• Despite all of that, my greatest academic writing fear is that I will bore my readers. I can't stand being bored and I don't want my work to bore other people. Because of the way my work hovers around the borders of multiple disciplines, I worry that I am boring people in several disciplines. I realize that this is pathetic.
  
• I really need to lay off the bathos while I try to finish up this dissertation.
• However, if one more person calls my dissertation a "paper," I might just scream. "How is your paper coming along?" "Are you done with your paper yet?" GRRRRRR
• I had to explain the concept of a defense to my dad the other night. He didn't understand the purpose and I think he found the idea of the defense offensive and a bit incomprehensible. It all seemed a bit unfair, x-number of committee members "against" the lone dissertator.
  
• I've mentioned this before (I think), but I am almost positive that it isn't just salt sprinkled on the french fries at McDonald's. There has to be crack in the mix. Only way to explain it.
  
• My hair is a mess. I haven't had a haircut since the last week of March. On the positive side, the too short layers are more than grown out. But, I'm not sure what to do with it now, so I haven't done anything.
  
• I can't believe that the job market season is almost upon us. I cry in terror. Not literally, but you know what I mean.
  
• At some point I'm sure I'll rant about the corrupt process that expects grad students looking for jobs to travel to an expensive city for conference interviews. Cattle call, anyone?
  
• I will try to post later today to prove (as much as I can) that I actually did something productive today.